Remember the times when you actually approached a boy or a girl to ask them out on a date after gathering all your courage? Dating, 3 to 4 years ago, was something that required efforts from both sides. It was not all about sex and people actually wanted to learn more about the other person and had a meaningful goal in mind.
With the introduction of hookup apps and apps like Tinder, people do not even have to pretend that they are in this for a long run.
It’s not actual what actually “Dating” is.
With the mindless swiping structure, people no longer want to go beyond the initial appearance of a person. All they think is that if it is so easy to get a hook-up date, then why to make any efforts at all. Apart from taking the focus off the personality of a person and to their physical appearance, Tinder also destroys dating culture in one more way. It gives a sense of urgency and has desensitized people to the actual concept of dating wherein you are actually attracted to a person and not just a sex partner for the night.
It has also taken out the guessing game out of the whole situation. You no longer think that will your date call you after the first encounter or will they kiss you on the first date. You straightaway head to the sex part of the relationship which should actually come after you have got to know that person. Earlier, when you liked a person, you were dying to meet them in person on a proper date but now, with the advent of such apps, you have a fixed set of requirements which the other person should match before you even think of setting up a date with them.
We’re missing out on real fun.
Tinder serves as a very easy platform to get what you want. In the process, you forget what you are giving up in return for access to that platform. You are missing out on the whole ‘falling in love’ concept and experience. It is becoming a platform to escape the efforts that dating requires and take the easy route out. With every match that comes your way, you regard it as your victory and take it as a hunting game. You love that sense of accomplishment but do not want to do anything further. Most people use Tinder to boost their ego rather than find a meaningful relationship.
This whole instant dating scenario is also making it difficult for people to open up about their personality and connect with another person organically.
It’s becoming too explicit
Women are sending pictures of their private parts to woo men and men are getting desensitized to the whole “courting a woman” scenario. They are getting what they want so easily that they do not see any point in continuing to work on pleasing that woman. Plus, with more than a hundred matches, you do not ever give your full attention to one woman. You keep swapping mindlessly between pictures and in the process lose the plot of the actual dating world. The fact that you have too many choices makes it impossible for you to treat other people like actual individuals and they are reduced to a mere photo of themselves without any personality.
Since online dating can be very anonymous, it has real dangerous. Every now and then you can hear the stories of Rapist threatening the girls. If you go with traditional approach, you’ve way more data which can help you to be safe.
What you write on your Tinder profile is the sole basis of your rejection or matching with somebody. This app reduces your whole personality to a line or two and people have to judge you on the basis of those few words. You do not have the freedom to go deeper and explore the other person’s personality in real terms unless you make significant efforts to have a conversation with the match in case he or she is also as interested in you as you are in them.
Rise of FOMO & Commitment Issues
Another reason why this app is as popular as it is is because it feeds on our FOMO and commitment issues. Even if you want to continue your conversation with one match, you keep thinking that you might be missing out of other hot girls and guys by sticking to just one match. This is called the Fear of Missing Out (FOMO). Other people with commitment issues also find it easier to not work on their issue and boost their self-esteem this way. But in fact, it is the exact opposite. After a string of meaningless sexual escapades with your Tinder matches, you begin to feel even less worthy than when you actually started. You want to look your best self for your Tinder profile picture and use more and more editing apps to make you look like someone you are actually not.
While it is true that the whole world is shifting online, there are some aspects that still look more charming offline. You can do your shopping, social networking, and all the other things online but when it comes to dating, it is better to connect with real people in the real world and woo them the organic way!